When you’re a new couple building your first home, your thoughts are already running to nights around the fire in front of the Christmas tree wrapping gifts that your whole family can enjoy on Christmas morning. But first, you have to decide on what needs to be done to build your dream home together. That can be harder than you think, especially if you both have different ideas of what your dream home should look like. In this article, you’ll find a few tips to help you as a new couple building your first new home together.
1. Talk to one another first.
As a couple, the two of you need to be on the same page about everything—from how many rooms you want in the new home to whether you want central heat and air or a gas furnace. Whether you’re building a new home or upgrading your own system, you need to agree on every decision made about every potential upgrade or appliance. For example, you need to agree on which service you’ll have put in the heating and cooling system, and even on how often you’ll have them come out to do inspections. It’s a good idea to talk about even the most minute of details. This is the best way to avoid conflict once you’re in the new home.
Your biggest discussion, however, needs to come before you talk to the builder of your dream home. Make sure that you both really want to build this new house, instead of buying one. This is a huge investment in money and time, so you both need to be on the same page and happy with your decision before you get a builder involved in the process. By taking everything out, you’ll find a way to combine your dreams into a common vision.
2. Accept that sometimes you’ll have to agree to disagree.
It’s important to note that there are no two people who would make the same decision every time when it comes to building a house, and you two are no different. You’re going to disagree on things that each of you wants. For example, you might want his and her sinks for the bathroom and he might not. Maybe you want the room to host the whole family for the holidays, and that’s not important to him. There is no right and there is no wrong when it comes to choosing what goes into your new home. Just remember to agree to disagree and you’ll work it out.
3. Take a break from discussing building the house.
Building your dream home can be stressful and all-consuming. It can also put a lot of wear and tear on a new relationship. You need to agree to take breaks from discussing building the new home. Whether it’s a night out on the town or a night where you curl up on the couch and binge-watch Netflix, no house talk should be allowed from beginning to end. You need to use the time to reconnect with one another as a couple. Remember, you’re not just a couple of customers for the builder, you’re a couple of lovebirds, too.
4. Talk to other couples who have built a new home.
See if you can find friends who have already been through building a house and survived it to still be together. Ask them how they made it through, made it the best place for both of them, and follow their advice. If they made it through the stress and came out happy on the other side then you should be able to as well. You can do this together, just as others have before you.
5. Make a pact to never put the house first.
From the day that you decide to build a house together, you need to make a pact to never let the house come between you. Since you’re planning this dream house together, you wouldn’t want it to be the cause of your relationship falling apart instead of growing stronger.
These are just a few of the best tips for new couples who are building their own home. Building a home is stressful, but it will be worth it when you’re sitting together in front of the Christmas tree happy and content in the home you built.
